Day 1

For my character sketch I chose the guy in the khaki shirt:

 

“He solemnly put his head against the window and closed his eyes, reminiscing days past. His heavy built shoulders heaved up and down as he breathed loudly, giving an air of repressed superiority. He was wearing a khaki textured shirt that reminded him of his long lost son – lost on a foreign land, fighting a foreign war. His hair were held back in a pink band, a careless knot that he hurried through to get out of the two by four situation but the smell had distinctly followed him – a rustic smell that reminds one of basements, attics and cooped up corners of the house that one avoids on purpose. He looked around at the somber day that lay ahead of him, let out a deep sigh, and closed his eyes so that for a brief moment he could, without any excuse, journey back into the past with no strings attached to the present or the future.

 

Three concerns:

  1. Is this coherent?
  2. I doubt the continuity of this paragraph, which ultimately compromises the character.
  3. Does my portrayal of the character make him human?

 

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