28th of November, 2011.

Indecision is malignant. Atleast for me it is. An affliction that gradually encompasses all will & finally leaves the brain to rot in its own choices. It is much like an ill-conscience only with more physical manifestations. In no way am I trying to imply insanity of self, rather, I believe I might be suffering from a mild psychological disorder.

Often my past resonates before me and all insecurities go awry. A harsh remark from somewhere, somebody impinges. This is where my physical weakness surfaces, baring my deepest, darkest fears. A similar but much suffocated incident took place two nights ago. I am not cautious of what might happen to me in terms of physical health. What concerns me is how much of my soul is delved in soot. Fortunately, I had an arm around to cleanse me right there and then, with His Grace of course.

But how long shall this continue for? I am not aligned to diffuse into another phase of life when I still have amends to make presently. And then my greed for independence, summed up with greater wants of self-accomplishments. Yet it all bottles down to one question: What Does It Matter?


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