my heart is bitter at the moment. spite of the soul has confused my thoughts. i was doing very well earlier until the poison of jealousy tainted my blood! i hate this state of self. often, i fall a victim to this chaos. yes, chaos it is indeed, when my thoughts rush away from what the heart desires. i try redirecting my thoughts but the yearning is far too great to be shunned easily. putting all this in words has, indeed, lessened the bitterness. still, i know, that it exists somewhere in the mind. im not exactly “green with envy” rather “pale with melancholy”. i know, the latter isn’t even an official oxford phrase!